Choose Your Own Cousin

1. Mark Fischbach describes post-injury recovery

Timestamp: 00:02:13 to 00:07:47 - watch this moment on skim

Mark Fischbach recounts his difficult recovery routine after hurting his foot, explaining the awkward mechanics required to take a shower while keeping a cast dry. Bob Muyskerm and Wade Barnes discuss their own unusual bathing habits and hotel shower preferences. The banter establishes the hosts' casual, lighthearted mood before transitioning into the episode's main activity.

Significance (Low): Highlights the unscripted comedic rapport of the trio as they bond over mundane daily struggles and physical mishaps.

Sources in support: Wade Barnes (Host & Storyteller), Bob Muyskerm (Co-host & Player)

2. Bob Muyskerm recounts driving a Tesla Cybertruck

Timestamp: 00:08:52 to 00:12:54 - watch this moment on skim

Bob Muyskerm describes test driving a tri-motor Tesla Cybertruck during a routine vehicle service appointment. He explains the overwhelming feeling of self-consciousness and public embarrassment while piloting the unusually styled truck, alongside its terrifying acceleration. His realization confirms that he never intends to purchase or drive one again.

Significance (Low): Delivers humorous consumer commentary on modern electric vehicle design and the psychological toll of conspicuous driving.

Sources in support: Bob Muyskerm (Co-host & Player)

Neutral sources: Wade Barnes (Host & Storyteller)

3. Wade Barnes introduces custom interactive game

Timestamp: 00:13:30 to 00:19:47 - watch this moment on skim

Wade Barnes explains that he prepared a custom Choose Your Own Adventure roleplaying scenario where Mark Fischbach and Bob Muyskerm play estranged cousins. Mark's character begins driving through a rural region at night after his car suffers mysterious flat tires, while Bob plays a lone grocery store clerk in a blackout. The two protagonists navigate opening dilemmas that set their parallel storylines into motion.

Significance (Medium): Establishes the narrative premise and sets up interactive storytelling mechanics between the players and game master.

Sources in support: Wade Barnes (Host & Storyteller)

Neutral sources: Bob Muyskerm (Co-host & Player)

4. Mark and Bob face instant story deaths

Timestamp: 00:20:47 to 00:28:48 - watch this moment on skim

Mark Fischbach takes a ride to a roadside motel and investigates suspicious noises at his door, resulting in an ambush by masked cultists and his sudden death. Simultaneously, Bob Muyskerm rides his bicycle to an eerie gathering at a farm where robed figures drag an unconscious body into a barn and execute his character upon discovery. Wade Barnes rewinds time to grant both players a second chance to evade their initial fatal missteps.

Significance (Medium): Demonstrates the high lethality and time-rewind conventions of classic interactive gamebooks.

Sources in support: Wade Barnes (Host & Storyteller)

Neutral sources: Bob Muyskerm (Co-host & Player)

5. Cousins unite at the church and discover lore

Timestamp: 00:29:43 to 00:38:33 - watch this moment on skim

Mark Fischbach sneaks out a window to escape motel attackers and meets Bob Muyskerm inside the town church. While investigating the parsonage, Mark uncovers historical documents detailing a mysterious benefactor known as The Shepherd who provided bountiful harvests in exchange for escalating town sacrifices. This discovery confirms that the strange ocular symbols carved across the town are tied to an ancient ritualistic tradition.

Significance (High): Merges the two separate player narratives into a single party and reveals the foundational lore behind the town's cult.

Sources in support: Wade Barnes (Host & Storyteller), Bob Muyskerm (Co-host & Player)

6. Characters discover car graveyard and ominous note

Timestamp: 00:39:00 to 00:48:51 - watch this moment on skim

The duo circumvents armed town patrols and stumbles upon a secluded clearing filled with disabled vehicles, including Mark's own car with deliberately sabotaged tires. Arriving at Bob's empty family home, they find a warning note advising Bob not to visit the farm alongside memories of the mysterious dirt hollow where offerings were historically presented. The players choose to investigate the ritual hollow rather than rest at the house.

Significance (Medium): Builds suspense by revealing a coordinated conspiracy to trap outsiders and harvest offerings in the area.

Sources in support: Wade Barnes (Host & Storyteller), Bob Muyskerm (Co-host & Player)

7. Pastor executes sacrifice at the hollow

Timestamp: 00:50:50 to 01:00:19 - watch this moment on skim

At the hollow, Bob and Mark witness a cult ceremony where the pastor slashes Bob's mother's throat after an argument over town devotion. Bob's father kills the pastor, seizes a glowing radioactive alien cylinder, and threatens to destroy the relic to secure their escape past the terrified congregation. Bob's father smashes the artifact on the road as they flee, triggering ominous lights in the sky that seal the characters' ultimate doom.

Significance (High): Delivers the climactic story resolution, explaining that The Shepherd was an extraterrestrial entity that rewarded blood sacrifices following a construction accident.

Sources in support: Wade Barnes (Host & Storyteller)

Neutral sources: Bob Muyskerm (Co-host & Player)